Sunday, January 15, 2006


clapyourhands; the things I'll never say.


let's waltz;
5:21 PM

Monday, January 09, 2006

I'm addicted.

2 Ashaway Groovepowers, one with orange grip, the other with black - what a way to start the year.

Hey, how long till the music drowns you out?
Don't put words up in my mouth,
I didn't steal your boyfriend,
Hey, how long till you face what's goin' on,
Cause you really got it wrong,
I didn't steal your boyfriend.

I just want some fun, get it? I wanna dance. I wanna let my ped-up frustration to be released. I want to run down the streets shouting vulgarities because it feels good. I want to sin because it feels good. I want to regain my authority to love. I want to feel love boil inside of me just as much as anger.

I want to steal people.

I want to taste and make people suffer.

I'm losing control myself. That's bad. My wild side is coming out. My sinful side.

I didnt steal your boyfriend.

`ashy smiles sweetly`

I want to show someone this side of me.

let's waltz;
6:00 PM

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

I love eeyang's new blog song. -_______________________-

Anyway, I know it's quite late for this but I have to thank a few people. =D

in no random order.

1. Natalie - for being a GREAT advisor but she's the BEST when she's pmsing that period because her advice is exactly what I want to do and I'm currently doing now. =D The thing is she sorta took back her words so I'm not supposed to follow it? I guess. =D but who cares. I'm daoing all the stupid people. =D
- She motivated me and pacified me when I got super duper pissed, but tell you a secret. *nat scares me* She's too perfect. -___________________- and and when she pacifies me, she gets irritated with the people who pissed me off so she sorta shares the burden. hahhah then I end up pacifying her and myself. =D
- I realise that life isn't a compeition so eh. I was studying so hard to beat her but at End of Years, I just couldn't be bothered and I messed EOYS up, but I have to thank her because the first part of the year was good, mostly thanks to her. =D
- I like spending 1h 45 minutes at the pool trying to get on the dolphin with her and yelling at each other and apologizing and laughing secretly when I realised I've kicked her leg or whatever. HAHAHHHAHAHA
- I like the fact that she's probably getting damn pissed off with this. HAHAHAHAHA
- Oh yah. I like telling her that I like his cute perky butt. HAHAHAHHA OMG OMG. IM DYING WITH LAUGHTER.
- MY BEST FRIEND. HAHAHAH. funky eh? I want my middle name to be NATALIE!

2. God - Well... I just wanna thank Him like mad and hug Him! =D He was there throughout the saddest period in 2005 and comforted me with His presense. He touched me deeply and brought me into a great revelation about who I actually am and that SOMEBODY loves me that much. And and bringing so much joy into my life and helping me overcome every obstacles in my life. =D I love Him.

3. Beehiang - Are you surprised to see your name THIRD. lol. It's a GRAND position. =D hahah. Okay. eh. I wanna thank Beehiang for calling me a wonderful pig and thanking God for that.
"ashleen ; cheerful,loud!thank god for creating such a wonderful pig!" quotes Beehiang
*She'll die today. Just remember to attend her funeral. =D
- She's a great friend and teammate, through and through. I love the way she always greets me on MSN though 10% of the time or make that 0.1% of the time I greet her first.
- I used to dislike her, but I guess time changes it all. I discovered that she has a great personality. and I like the way she just keeps motivating me on, pushing me forward.
- Sometimes I do get pissed with her, but I don't dare anymore, because she gets paranoid and I'm like freaked out. =D
- I like the way how she yells at me when I've successfully pranked her with the stupid call. -_________________________-
- She also helps me analyses my game though 0.1% of the time, I'll do that. =D

4. Jemima - It seems as if I show my dislike towards you towards the end of the year too much, but hey, I just want EVERYBODY to know, I love you as a great friend! =D I mean it might seem that I hate you or something but nope, it's just that I guess.... it's my fault, I've been gossiping way too much. I've been focusing too much on your flaws but hey, I realised that you really have a great personality and well... I love you just the way you are, flaws and all. So I would like to thank you so much for always being there for me, even though you know I only run to you when Nat ignores me or gets pissed with me, but our friendship is not just that. It's gonna elevate to a greater height. =D Thank you so much, dear.

*warning: I'm not lesbian and I repeat, I promise I kill*

5. Changzhong - Aren't you surprised your name popped out here! lol I mean like you are probably the person whom I have a dislike, neutral friendship with. hahahha. You know... I guess I really want to thank you for always being there though I get irritated with you many many times and I don't understand why. But you are a great friend and I didn't realise it until the day you started pms-ing on me, I got really scared. hahahha. I'm really sorry about that anyway. But I'm just scared, I'm scared that I can't return the great gift ahemlikeahemnessahem to you.
- I thank you for tolerating me so much because I dao you 70% of the time and I know that. =P
- I thank you for telling me your stupid perverted stories and how you always tease me about the BIGnose, cute perky butt guy and the stupid flirt.
- My good GOOD FRIEND. =P

6. My mummy. hahah. I wont say so much since she wont read this. =P

7. HOHO! - OMG I still love him. Can you believe me? HAHAHAH. Okay, never mind. =P Joking okay! hahaha
- I thank him for giving me the one of the bestest best period in my entire life though it just has to end... I don't mind the ending though. =D
- A great senior to me but sometimes, he's just so insensitive you wanna kill him. =D
- I like the way he teaches me about mensuration and yelling at me for not knowing what a freakin sphere is. =D
- I like the way how he's so completely blur and irritating and stuff.
- AND I LIKE HIS BIG NOSE ! =D hozienozie! HHAHAHAHAH. someone ask him to read my blog pleasee! =D I betcha he'll give me the FAT FACE. HAHAHAHAHAHA

8. Alina - my dear dear teammate. I love her man, so cute and all. =D hahahah. She's really nice though, motivating when things turn wrong in the team and yup, cheering me on. =D THANK YOU DAHLING. =D

9. Yuanyi - my dear partner in crime. -______________________- never bring back the taiwanese sausage for me! =( She's really a motivator though, because half the time I get pissed off with myself on court and I think her job on court is more of pacifying me then playing. heheh
- I love her for bringing INUYASHA to my life =D and talking about tactics for one hour though we forget everything by the next day. =D

10. Eeyang, Nicole, Lili, Mingming - BEST TEAMMATES IN THE WORLD. =D

11. Ruiqi - LOVE YOU dahling! =D for everything on BUS 67! the way of communication. =D AHAHAHHAHA


13. Everybody I missed out which is everybody but whatever. Heheh. =P

OKay, it's 6am already, have to change so yepp. gotta change and go to school and mess up my entire day. =D

you know you love me.

let's waltz;
5:30 AM

why does eeyang always get such nice songs?

`ashy frowns`

=D hello. The time right now is 5.20am and I've been awake since 1.45am. Obviously, I'm suffering from major jet lag because it's like... 12 midnight in Greece but whatever. I'll just die later during training and die the whole freakin way.

`ashy grins widely`


tomorrow's nicole's birthday. hahahah. I didn't buy anything for her! HAHAHAH. oh no. eh how? lol. =D

I guess I'm super hyper right now, thanks to my inadequate amount of sleep.

Anyway I had FUN in Rome, Venice and Greece. =D


and my fart chased away some customer from my favourite shop in Greece. HAHAH. It was super duper funny. =D

I'll blog about my holidays another day. I think. =D

Oh yes. My new year resolutions. =D

1. Stop going all mean and stuff. No vulgarities. =)
2. Obtain a almost perfect weight of 50kg *warning: do not ask me how heavy I am, I promise I kill*
3. A waist of 25 inches
4. Not get jealous when people get what I want
5. Not get a boyfriend, but still make myself attractive and LOVELY *which I already am, so half is fulfiled =D*
6. Run 2.4km in 12.20s or less
7. Join choir ministry *don't laugh. I can sing alright!*
8. Help Jasmine more in the cell group *She's really busy*
9. Finish reading the Bible by the end of the year
10. Not mess up on court so much *in other words, do my best*
11. Correct my English *it's atrocious*
12. Get my accent right
13. Do my BEST in my studies *which means 100% and not 30% -_________-*
14. Not compare with others (particularly Nat) so much
15. Mix less with the RI gang *they're bad company, except for a few =D*
16. Bring at least 5 people to church
17. Sleep by 10.30pm *which I obviously didn't last night8
18. Save at least... $150 by the end of the year
19. Lose my temper less *Anger is exhausting and plain awful*
20. Love God and my family MORE! =D

let's waltz;
5:18 AM

Sunday, January 01, 2006


LOVE YA ALL. eh. blog later? =D

let's waltz;
5:16 PM

Tuesday, December 20, 2005


This is probably my last post before I'm off to Italy, unless I decide to post on Wed or Thurs. (:
Yup.. my summary for this year. (: / ):

This year has been eventful but at the same time, I would like to think... painful. Perhaps it's due to my immature nature when facing such problems and etc. I won't deny that it's probably the best year I've ever had in my entire life and I admit, I'm afraid to face 2006. What new challenges would arrive? What problems would enter? But most of all, how much more pain am I going to experience.

Yes, this is the way God molds each and everyone of us into a better creature, forming a true Jesus-like character out of us.

But still I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I might not have enough faith to pull through.

that I might not have enough determination to run the race.

that I might stumble and fall badly.

I fell badly this last few months. So badly that I've lost count of the number times I've cried for everything that has been happening to me.

Praise the LORD that I've supportive friends, Changzhong, Beehiang, Mingming, Natalie, Junyi, Pheobe, Jemima, Alina, Eeyang and well... in the earlier part of the year, Kelvin. But also not forgetting Zhi Jie. hahah (:

I learnt from this deep wound I had that... I had to stand firm, pick myself up, stop crying and well... just move on. Not that I've completely gotten over it but I guess I'll just leave it as it is? Perhaps it wasn't meant for an end? But really, I guess I'm not willing to carry it into the next year with me? But then again... I really ought to make use of this few days in Italy to really relax and well... just enjoy life without worrying that much about anything that happens in Singapore.

You know... all of the sudden. I just wish someone could hug me really hard. It can be on the internet, by sms or even better, reality... I really wish that someone could tell me that you know... I'm the only one in their eyes. WOW. lol.

I'm like laughing.

And well... I feel like crying. Perhaps I'll forget every single unhappy thing that happened this year and well... really move on!



Perhaps then... I'll laugh away all my worries and discomfort.

I'm laughing.

I love myself please.

let's waltz;
9:47 PM

Monday, December 19, 2005


the blog is like dying.

well done ash. (:

but so is so many others.

I'm getting a new racket I hope. I think I am getting a new racket. BLAH.

I'm pmsing. ahhhh. I'm like so irritated. SOOO IRRITATED.

my tummy hurts. like fat cows.

and I think I've just grown fatter due to excessive eating of Famous Amos cookies.


I havent finish my fish-ing math homework and haven't even started with the commonwealth essay. and OM is just as shyted as ever.

WHAT @)*#)(@&$_@&$*(@&q_$_)q*w$)8QW04800 (use your imagination) is this?


stupid maths.

do you know how much I hate maths?!

and you know why?

Because I keep messing up on the volume of the cylinder. Oh man. I need a life and it's suppose to be the HOLIDAYS. Holidays DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT consist of HOMEWORK.

Service was candle light. Lotsa candles *obviously* `ashy rolls her eyes`

ah. I love it. bright. very bright.

and I'm not MANLY. damnnit. I mean like MAX COMPLIMENTED ME SAYING that FIRST TIME I look so girly.


and I can double absolutely confirm that I'm totally straight, not a least bit of man in me. AH.

and I'm not tomboyish. darn.

Hey, how long till the music drowns you out?
Don't put words up in my mouth,
I didn't steal your boyfriend,
Hey, how long till you face what's goin' on,
Cause you really got it wrong,
I didn't steal your boyfriend,
Well I'm sorry,
That he called me,
And that I answered the telephone,
Don't be worried,
I'm not with him,
And when I go out tonight,
I'm going home alone,
Just got back from my tour,
I'm a mess girl for sure,
All I want is some fun,
Guess that I'd better run,
Hollywood sucks you in,
But it won't spit me out,
Whoa, Whoa, HA

Thanks to my maybe-still-considering-brother, I'm absolutely obsessed (and obese) with this song, boyfriend by Ashlee Simpson. Although I still don't understand how Hung Up is nice. This is better. =D


AH. (: this song also at the same time reconfirms my sexuality since it's BOYFRIEND and not GIRLFRIEND. argh. Tiffany can just stop accusing me of being lesbian.

Chazngzhong says that I'm not serious. ah. life isn't supposed to be all serious. oh please. and I'm straight and super duperly girly. I like played with barbie dolls ( and gave them a good haircut; bald ) soo you see. I'm ultraly duperly straight (:

ah. bible study. byee. =D

let's waltz;
10:55 AM

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Booo. What am I feeling right now?


- Understandable, especially with the homework load. Homework's rubbish.


- Did you really mean what you said? Or was it someone else?

Blehh. I wonder why I feel worried. I wonder why I even care. Booo. I'm not supposed to care you see. I don't really feel any loss if there is. I want to be able to ignore people who aren't that close to me and throw them aside when I want to. But problem is... I can't for now.

I keep thinking.

I wonder why I care.

But I realised that the people I don't want to enter my life have slowly walked into it without a warning. Is that how life is supposed to be?

"3) i didn't sleep with zhijie during the chalet. i slept on him."

- Luckily, there's Louis around. I'm still amused.

let's waltz;
5:36 PM

You Are a Good Girl
You are 70% Good and 30% BadGenerally speaking, you're a very good girl.(But you don't have us totally fooled!)
Are You a Good Girl or a Bad Girl?

let's waltz;
3:56 PM

Your French Name is:
Noella Gibert
What's" Your French Name?

Hmm... Noelle. Nice.

You Have a Choleric Temperament
You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things.Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life.You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation.

You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon.Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall.You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others.

At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion.A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.
What Temperment Are You?

let's waltz;
3:33 PM


I wanna feel you closer.
skin on skin.
your burning flesh rests upon mine.
you are mine to use.



date: 12/12/2004 - 12/19/2004
date: 12/19/2004 - 12/26/2004
date: 12/26/2004 - 01/02/2005
date: 01/02/2005 - 01/09/2005
date: 01/09/2005 - 01/16/2005
date: 01/16/2005 - 01/23/2005
date: 01/23/2005 - 01/30/2005
date: 01/30/2005 - 02/06/2005
date: 02/06/2005 - 02/13/2005
date: 02/13/2005 - 02/20/2005
date: 02/20/2005 - 02/27/2005
date: 02/27/2005 - 03/06/2005
date: 03/06/2005 - 03/13/2005
date: 03/13/2005 - 03/20/2005
date: 03/20/2005 - 03/27/2005
date: 03/27/2005 - 04/03/2005
date: 04/10/2005 - 04/17/2005
date: 04/17/2005 - 04/24/2005
date: 04/24/2005 - 05/01/2005
date: 05/01/2005 - 05/08/2005
date: 05/08/2005 - 05/15/2005
date: 05/15/2005 - 05/22/2005
date: 05/22/2005 - 05/29/2005
date: 05/29/2005 - 06/05/2005
date: 06/05/2005 - 06/12/2005
date: 06/12/2005 - 06/19/2005
date: 06/19/2005 - 06/26/2005
date: 07/10/2005 - 07/17/2005
date: 07/24/2005 - 07/31/2005
date: 07/31/2005 - 08/07/2005
date: 08/07/2005 - 08/14/2005
date: 08/14/2005 - 08/21/2005
date: 08/21/2005 - 08/28/2005
date: 08/28/2005 - 09/04/2005
date: 09/04/2005 - 09/11/2005
date: 09/11/2005 - 09/18/2005
date: 09/18/2005 - 09/25/2005
date: 09/25/2005 - 10/02/2005
date: 10/02/2005 - 10/09/2005
date: 10/09/2005 - 10/16/2005
date: 10/16/2005 - 10/23/2005
date: 10/23/2005 - 10/30/2005
date: 10/30/2005 - 11/06/2005
date: 11/06/2005 - 11/13/2005
date: 11/13/2005 - 11/20/2005
date: 11/20/2005 - 11/27/2005
date: 11/27/2005 - 12/04/2005
date: 12/04/2005 - 12/11/2005
date: 12/11/2005 - 12/18/2005
date: 12/18/2005 - 12/25/2005
date: 01/01/2006 - 01/08/2006
date: 01/08/2006 - 01/15/2006
date: 01/15/2006 - 01/22/2006



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